The Importance of Play in a Child's Life #FamilyLife


The Importance of Play in a Child's Life

It’s true that education is like a building block for a child’s future. All parents dream for a better career for their child’s life. Everybody wants their child to be doctor, engineer and wants to see them in high posts. In this cut throat competition children get pressurize with their activities to the extent that they don’t get spare time for their own entertainment. Teachers also keep the child busy during the holidays by giving them assignments and homework. Earlier children used to play with their siblings. So, the children easily got a play environment at the home. However, now the time spent by children in playing was very less as compared to the past two decades. Parents should understand that play is an important activity and they should not deprive their child from this opportunity.

Group games allow children to learn the values of team spirit. It also teaches them to cooperate with other members of the team and develop self discipline. This also enables them to face negative situation in life and make them strong when they get defeated. Many studies have proved that children playing games which have lots of violence are likely to be more short tempered and aggressive.

It is the duty of the parents to find out whether the child knows the difference between fantasy and reality. When this problem is not uprooted in the initial stages then it can take very ugly turn in child’s life and they will start presuming that real life is also like the games which they play. It will have a negative impact on children mind because inappropriate games will impart wrong set of values in them. Through play children develop essential life skills; they also learn how to interact with their peers and adults. It is through play that children develop essential life skills; they learn how to interact with their peers and with adults.

There are certain benefits that child get after playing. These benefits are given below:

1. Reduces fear, anxiety, stress, irritability

2. Creates joy, intimacy, self-esteem and mastery not based on other's loss of esteem

3. Improves emotional flexibility and openness

4. Increases calmness, resilience and adaptability and ability to deal with surprise and change

5. Decreases tactile defensiveness

6. Healing process for hurts

7. Enhances feelings of acceptance of difference

8. Increases empathy, compassion, and sharing

9. Creates options and choices

10. Models relationships based on inclusion rather than exclusion

11. Alternative to aggressor-victim model of relationships

12. Decreases revenge and need for self defense

13. Improves touch and nonverbal socialization skills

14. Increases attention and attachment capacities

15. Positive emotions increase the efficiency of immune, endocrine, and cardiovascular systems

16. Decreases stress, fatigue, injury, and depression

17. Integrates sensor motor, kinesthetic and emotional responses

In conclusion every child should be allowed to play as they learn so many skills from playing, and from defeating. Play is essential for every child’s development as it make them well balanced grown up and prepare with all the essential life skills needed.

Source: Harry Yadav

What Are Aura Readings? #FamilyLife

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aura readings, magic, superstitions, magical power, fortune reading, stars, zodiac

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What Are Aura Readings?

Aura Readings are meant to look at a person’s spiritual energy system, as demonstrated through the seven layers of one’s aura. Along with colors, the reader doing aura readings sees memory pictures, symbolic images, spiritual beings and energy belonging to others such as family and friends. The readings help identify and release blocks. They also help get in touch with one’ own energy, to help the individual know the truth and make the best possible choices.

The reader who does aura readings looks for what is the person’s energy, and what is not is energy! In every layer of one’ aura, the reader identifies different colors that represent energies from close quarters. The readings help release all those energies which are completely unwarranted and uncalled for.

Clairvoyant Readings are meant to help find a fresh perspective to things and give a new direction to life. The readings help reset goals and redevelop psychic strategies. They help infuse a new zeal into life, giving it a new approach altogether. They help rebuild confidence which may have devastated through setbacks in life.

Clairvoyant Readings are categorically meant to bring about radical changes into one’s life. They may not be of any help in building massive wealth, but are definitely the final resort to amass spiritual wealth which ultimately is the real source of pleasure.

Aura readings help the reader sense who you really are. The reader gets to find out where you come from, and what path you wish to choose to grow as a spirit. They help look into pat experiences that have affected you. They help get insights into steps you may wish to take in the future.

At times the readings help make sense of what is happening around you, at times they may seem to be thoroughly meaningless and a waste of time. Some of the best aura related look-ins include healing, empowering and supporting in seeking answers.

Clairvoyant Studies help seek spirituality. They help understand reasons behind pain, suffering, frustration etc. and the ill-effects they have on one’s metabolism, cardiovascular and pulmonary health.

The studies help know that both setbacks and successes are a part of the game everyone play in life, and by no means should be taken seriously. Rather, they should be observed with a sense of supreme detachment.

There is one common thing that goes with both forms of readings, however different they actually might be in nature. They teach that wealth is not the real source of happiness. When the earnings increase, the greed too increases along with it. Negative feelings grow within the system, and one always remains dissatisfied with what one has in the present.

Another virtue that both propagate is that the present is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest. It is no use fretting about the past for it cannot be undone or overturned and no use pondering too much about the future for it remains unseen. The day being thought about may never dawn on you. The ultimate service however, remains the one done for your fellow men.

Source: Thomas Carlyle

Natural Hair Loss Remedies #FamilyLife

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Many ideas and theories exist about natural hair loss remedies that may or may not help, but experts agree they can't hurt!

Currently, there are only three FDA-approved, widely recognized hair loss treatments that have been proven to halt hair loss and regrow hair to some degree, and they are Rogaine, Propecia and laser hair therapy, explains hair transplant surgeon Dr. Bernie Nusbaum, founder of the Hair Transplant Institute of Miami and former clinical instructor in the Department of Dermatology and Cutaneous Surgery at the University of Miami School of Medicine. "But there is a lot of buzz about herbal and natural remedies such as saw palmetto and antioxidants as we look toward nature to provide some answers to simple male- and female-pattern balding," says Nusbaum.

More studies needed on natural hair loss remedies

Nusbaum continues, "I am aware of one small study on the effects of saw palmetto on hair loss and many ideas about antioxidants and platelet-rich plasma, and I am open-minded and interested in investigating them and feel there is a great need for testing the efficacy of these treatments, especially for women, whose options are limited now." The surgeon agrees that while these treatments will not hurt, they might not help until we figure out what action they have on the hair loss and exactly how they need to be administered, whether topically or internally, or both. As of yet we don't have any real proof or large clinical studies showing that natural or botanical products are helpful in treating hair loss - but that doesn't mean it isn’t so. There are a few studies showing that some of these compounds are anti-inflammatory, which is one of the main aspects of pattern baldness. "But more research needs to be done. We really need to look further and harder to try to find substances to treat female-pattern hair loss," stresses Nusbaum, who admits that FDA requirements for extensive clinical trials can be stringent and costly and are part of the problem in the advancement of hair loss treatments.

Why saw palmetto?

A link between the hormone by-product DHT, produced in the body naturally as we age, and hair loss has been established, and the internal use of the herb saw palmetto has been linked to relieving symptoms of benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) in men, also caused by increases in DHT. We have proof that pattern balding has been responsive to drugs such as Propecia used to treat BPH, so that’s why the hair loss community has embraced saw palmetto, even for women, because it doesn’t affect actual hormone levels, just the secretion and accumulation of DHT, which attacks follicles in both men and women.

In one small placebo-controlled, double-blind pilot study published in the Journal of Alternative Complementary Medicine in April 2002, which involved only ten men, six out of the ten men rated their hair loss condition as improved, after using the study formulation containing saw palmetto. The results showed that more testing should be done. "Currently, there is another in-vitro study also showing that saw palmetto had some anti-inflammatory effects, and it has been shown to block DHT in a test tube but not yet in humans," says Dr. Nusbaum. "Through all of this testing we are learning about aspects of hair loss pertaining to inflammation and oxidative stress, and we’re learning more and more about the genes that turn on and turn off hair growth," he notes.

Laser hair therapy

The laser is not a drug or an herb but instead a low-level light source that has also been proven to halt hair loss and regrow hair with no known side-effects, so it qualifies as a natural treatment for hair loss. Nusbaum explains how it works: "The laser can stop hair loss if used on an ongoing basis and does improve hair counts. When hairs are in the resting phases of the growth cycle (about 10 percent of your hair at any given time) and follicles are still alive, exposure to low-level laser light stimulates these 10 percent of hairs to grow, and that can make a noticeable difference. But there is still a lot we don't know. We do not know the optimum strength of the laser or frequency to use yet. Since laser hair therapy is still in its infancy, there are no longitudinal studies on it.

The multi-therapeutic approach to solving hair loss

Most hair experts, including Nusbaum, agree on a multi-therapeutic approach to treating and halting your hair loss. All the hair loss treatments currently available (hair transplant surgery, Propecia, Rogaine, laser hair therapy, herbal topical and internal supplements, acupuncture, aromatherapy and massage with essential oils) can be used in conjunction with each other with no known contraindications except that Propecia cannot be used on women.

Once you've read about the different types of treatments available (a great starting point is's free e-book The Complete Guide to Solving Hair Loss), it's best to discuss them with your doctor and a hair loss treatment professional, who can tailor a plan that will work best for your type of hair loss.

Note: For your information only, consult the professionals in applying the above subject matter.

Source: Naomi Mannino

Physical Fitness - Feeling Stronger as well as Surviving For Longer #FamilyLife

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If you ever request anybody if they wish to live for a longer time and live a life in which is full of health and energy then, the common reply will be yes. They'd be crazy to say no. However, it is peculiar that most individuals who reply yes in fact choose a chosen lifestyle that is the opposite of living a long and healthy and balanced life. Many individuals obtain behaviors that make their lives less healthy and less satisfying.

These days it is well known and understood throughout medical science and preliminary research that initiating a healthful existence with lots of regular exercise has many benefits to the standard of our way of life. A healthy existence reduces the fat surrounding our stomachs, it offers clarity of thoughts, gives us the power and vitality we need to live and experience a full and diverse life.

Physical exercise allows us to live longer and better. It cuts down on the chance of deadly illnesses such as coronary heart disease, cancer and prolonged disorders including type 2 diabetes and hypertension. Regular exercise along with eating a healthy diet plan can help slow down the aging process.

The above data is not a secret, it isn't unfamiliar or hidden from us all. We all know this but why do so many people continue doing the contrary rather than undertake the necessary steps to get their health and wellbeing and vitality back on track.

Many reasons exist a lot of it is due to the changes to modern culture. In the aftermath of ww2 there was a lot of transitions that have affected the everyday life all of us lead these days. Two primary changes ended up being the rise connected with mass manufacture of highly refined foods and technologies. Many of us use far more highly processed and manufactured foods now that we have ever done previously. Men and women are taking fewer fresh healthy foods which offered the primary nutrients and vitamins and minerals your physique needs to remain healthy and balanced.

Technology has made our way of life much more comfortable however at a price. The rise of the computer and car has cut out the call to exert ourselves physically that lots of men and women rarely move any longer. These kind of benefits have created more free time for everyone but most individuals favor to utilize that leisure time relaxing on the sofa viewing tv whilst eating a container of ice cream.

We can blame it on modern technology but the actual responsibility lies with us. It can be our own preference to live a specific standard of living. Even though it is not easy to change, to be honest you can change since the majority of it is about our habits. With habits we are able to modify them to enhance our overall health and our lives.

At all times seek advice from your current medical professionals if you have a health condition or food allergic reaction prior to changing or doing any form of new physical exercise or diet plan.

Source: John Doe

6 Little Spending Mistakes That Can Cost You Your Financial Freedom

Financial Freedom, Spending Mistakes, Money, Accounts, Finance, Lifestyle, FX777, FX777222999, Life, Wealth, Loans

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Can't seem to get ahead financially? Debts piling up? Maybe you're making some of these mistakes unknowingly. These mistakes listed below will help you understand where you may be going wrong and how to get back on track quickly. You can be debt free.

Mistake 1. Living Beyond Your Means

This is the real cause of your worry and stress. If you are spending more than you are earning, whose money are you spending? It's the credit card provider's or the bank. The cost of this money is interest.

The way out - Make a Commitment to yourself only to spend within your income limits. Maybe you could increase your income (or cash in) by applying for more skilled positions, selling some of your unused articles or assets. Is the second car really a necessity? What about working out ways to make your hobby pay for itself?

Why not find ways to reduce your spending? How much would you save each year if you decided not to have the daily coffee shop coffee? Why not make your work lunch each day rather than buying it? Commit to only buying the necessities.

Mistake 2. Paying Off Less Than the Full Credit Card Balance Each Month

Get this debt under control and your life will be much easier. If you are like many others and only pay the minimum balance each month, the interest on the interest makes those purchases oh so expensive.

The way out - Find ways to put aside more money to apply to the credit cards. It will take time to reach this goal. However, if you don't make a start now you may never pay them off. This situation did not occur overnight and neither will the solution. But, by diligence and commitment you'll get there.

Mistake 3. Not Really Knowing Your Financial Situation

Before you can set meaningful goals and develop savings strategies you need to know your financial situation now. The best, proven and tested method by far, is by developing your own personal budget. This is not hard to do. Please don't give up now. Just follow these simple steps:

The way out -
a)Find your latest credit card statements. Write down all the unpaid balances.
b)Are there any other unpaid debts (not home or car) then include these balances as well.
c)List out your (or family) monthly income. Only the amounts "brought home". Include all types of income.
d) Work out your monthly spending. List out where all the money goes. Don't leave anything out.
e) Minus the monthly spending total from the monthly income total and review the answer.
This will give you an initial idea as to whether you are living within your means or on borrowed money.

Mistake 4. Continually Adding to Your Debt

If debt has got you into this situation it is critically important not to add to the state of affairs and thus make it worse.

The way out - cut up the credit cards, keeping only 1 for emergencies. Don't buy on impulse. Ask yourself twice or three times before you buy anything "Do I really need this?" before you hand over your hard-earned money. Don't buy at the height of the fashion or fad. Commit to never paying full retail for anything. Get it on sale or negotiate a lower price.

Mistake 5. Spending All Your Income

It may sound OK to spend any money you earn but there are risks attached to this strategy. How are you going to pay for emergency items? What about major car repairs. What about major electrical appliance replacement? Are you going to pay for these on credit? Bad idea! How are you going to save for a substantial deposit on the next car?

The way out - Once you've prepared your budget you will clearly see what you need to do to put some income aside for other needs such are emergencies and repairs.

Mistake 6. Spending Without Caring About Your Future

Unless you are planning for your future and financial security, you cannot be really happy. There are always worries lurking in your mind about how you would survive in a financial emergency if you have no savings. It can be very rewarding to see how quickly your savings multiply over time with only a small investment each payday.

The way out - Take stock of your life and realize that tomorrow won't look after itself. It needs your attention. Keep some funds aside to put away for your retirement, children's college costs, emergencies, holidays and major purchases.

Avoid these 6 spending mistakes and you'll be well on your way to financial freedom. Guaranteed.

Source: Bruce Hokin

Dating Tips For a Man: What A Woman Needs #FamilyLife

Perfect Date, Dating Sites, Relationship, Marriage, FX777, Lovers, Love, Life, Family

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If you're asking, "What do women really want?" whether for dating, romance or relationships the answer is simple. Women really want a man who is self confident. Now, we said self-confident. We didn't say arrogant, obnoxious, filled with his own self-importance, or so narcissistic that he thinks he's more special than any of the ordinary people of this world.

A man who is self-confident believes that he has the strength to tackle adversity, has or can learn the skills to make a happy and successful life for himself and his family, and believes so strongly in himself that he isn't threatened by an equally strong and self-confident woman. That is what women really want.

To achieve this self-confidence that women really want from their partners, doesn't mean that you turn into macho man. You don't have to develop the physique of Arnold Schwarzenegger or the swagger of John Wayne. You can even have and show some fear, some vulnerability and even an occasional self-doubt and still exude confidence.

If you're asking, "What do women really need?", you get a very different answer. Even the most independent of women are dependent on men, so says a prominent psychologist. While women boast of being feminists, this expert says, they haven't changed from the generations where men were needed to complete them, and for their very survival. The psychologist claims that it will be another 10,000 years at least before men are not what all women really need above all else.

His stance is that women really need men because they come preprogrammed to feel dependent on the male of the species. Even though women are doing well financially on their own, climbing their career ladders and living allegedly happily on their own their psyche, according to this study, includes a fear that they can't survive on their own without a man.

The researcher who published this report on what women really need specializes in evolutionary psychology. He analyzed much evidence that he determined proved key differences between the sexes that are as true now as they were in the days of the cave dwellers.

Women, he points out, really need men partly because they are smaller and therefore weaker than males. They need men to protect them physically at times, but also need their social standing, which, in today's uneven world, seems to still be greater for the male than oftentimes for a female whose career is more successful.

In this study women were asked to choose their potential mates from groups of three types of males. The first group of men were not overly handsome, just kind of average looking and some downright ugly; and wore expensive business suits.

The second group were men of somewhat better looks who dressed casually in chinos and golf polo shirts or similar wardrobes. The third group were handsome, muscular men in Burger King uniforms. Time and time again the women picked the less physically attractive men in the suits. The Burger King guys came in way at the end of the choices. What this proved to the researchers was that what these women really needed was stability and social standing.

A male who is young and not socially savvy will seldom attract the attention of or solicit a relationship with an older, somewhat unattractive woman who is a noteworthy and socially prominent figure. You'll often see young, unsophisticated women who are not so worldly wise pursuing relationships with and falling in love with older, not particularly physically attractive who are worldly-wise, powerful, successful and socially prominent. Women really need this kind of power on the fringes when they can’t come up with their own power.

A bit more about the kind of self confidence that women really want from their man is the kind that says, "I know I can most likely get through this okay, and I'm sure going to try". Women don't really need you to be a rah-rah cheerleader every moment of every day. They just need you to show that when the chips are down you can take it and still be there for themeselves and you both.

Self-confidence isn't as easy to achieve for men as it was before, and perhaps that is why women really want to see it so much more now. In past centuries, survival was dependent on self-confidence. Men had to know they could kill the game for their family's food, could outshoot the villain at the castle gate, and could bring in a crop to feed their family through the winter. That kind of self-confidence for men was a given. Women didn't think in terms of really wanting that kind of man. A man that survived very far into adulthood during turbulent times such as the Middle Ages and the early Wild West days of the United States' development obviously had confidence or he wouldn't be alive.

What women could say they really wanted then was a provider, a fighter, a great shot, and an accomplished sharp-shooter.

Today's man doesn't need to have confidence in his pugilistic skills, his marksmanship, and he doesn't even need to provide for the entire family in most cases. So for some they've lost track of where their self-confidence is coming from. This makes women want to see that self-confidence even more because it's not as obvious or abundant as it once had to be.

In short, what women really want is a man who is willing, even though he has fears, to stand up and face the trials and tribulations of each new tough day with success, and who is strong enough to allow her to be strong without fear of his resentment of her strength.

Source: Abbas Abedi

Retirement, A Cruel and Unusual Punishment #FamilyLife

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Can you imagine being retired with nothing to do? Would it not be one of the cruellest punishments you could imagine? Does sitting in front of the TV, day in and day out, sound like a fulfilling way to live? Malcolm S. Forbes said "Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did". Fortunately we have time to plan our retirement. Think about the question "What are you going to do when?" -- you grow up? -- you graduate? -- you retire?

For the first two stages of life we have very little time to decide. We could spend a lot more time on plans for the third phase. When it comes to retirement, we know that an enjoyable and peaceful retirement comes with good planning long before you actually retire. Retirement planning is about learning how to spend your time and not just how to spend your money. You need to understand the best way to use your time, to keep busy and enjoy everything you desire to do.

Of course having enough money put away is the number one factor as to whether or not you’ll maintain your desired lifestyle once you stop working. Even if you’ve been saving your money since your first nickel, that still may not be enough to have an enjoyable retirement. Money is always an issue. How often do you hear people say that “I'll do that when my ship comes in" or "when I win the lottery"?

Everyone would travel in their retirement if it was free, and fortunately a few travel vacations a year will probably fit into even the most conservative budget. Traveling to exotic places could be a dream come true for you and your partner. Limiting the number of trips to take this exotic vacation may definitely be worthwhile.

Your vacations will not consume all of your free time so you know you’ll need something engaging to do with the rest of that free time and remember you will probably have more free time than you’ve ever had since you became an adult. Having several interesting hobbies is a necessity to get the most out of your retirement. Creative planning can rev up your retirement with hobbies and activities.

If you retire without retirement planning and you think you would be too old to learn something new, think again. There have been many people who took up meaningful retirement hobbies in their advanced age. Some have been able to excel at those hobbies. You've heard the saying, "Can't teach an old dog new tricks" , it doesn't apply to you unless you want it to.

Before you entered the workforce If you wanted to be a lawyer, you had to go to school first. Architects go to college. Hairdressers go to a school or college. When you picked a career or a profession you had to do it long before you started into that profession because you had to learn first. Hobbies are no different. Learning to take a new hobby or activity to the next level is very beneficial to keep the mind active. Keeping the mind active, according to some researchers, has several health benefits, not to mention the pleasure of just learning and perfecting something new.

After a few years into retirement, it may become necessary to rearrange your priorities, activities, relationships and lives. Retirement is usually more challenging than we thought it would be and often health issues force these changes. Fortunately, those who have planned for retirement and have a clear vision for more fulfilling lives for themselves, will stand out for their ability to reinvent themselves. They will find new adventures, hobbies, new friendships and even new careers.

Some retirees will be satisfied with hobbies, especially as we get older. Some will be happy with volunteering their services to give back to the community. Some will look forward to retirement as an extended holiday where they can finally slow down and "smell the roses". Others will have a busier, more active life than when they were working.

Over the next 20 or so years, it's expected that 75+ million baby boomers will retire and there are approximately 46 million workers to replace them. There is a very obvious gap here and the next generation really needs boomers to stay working in some capacity. That's good news for boomers since many aren't likely to retire totally anyhow. Talk about a win-win situation for all generations and for society itself.

There will be a decision for you to make, keep working full or part time or quit the workforce entirely. Deciding to quit the work force entirely calls for a retirement plan for the new retirement lifestyle you are about to embark upon. Should you decide to use hobbies to fill up that free time just remember those who get the most from their hobbies in retirement are those who have started pursuing these earlier in life. That’s not to say you can’t start something new. Maybe you’ve had a passion to try out a new sport, activity or pastime and just haven't had the time to do it while you’ve been working. The one thing that is certainly true is that retirees who have one or more hobbies of some kind are far less likely to suffer from physical health problems or emotional problems such as depression and the more active the hobby, the greater the chance of living a fuller, healthier and longer life.

Source: Bored Baby Boomer

Inquiries for Love Relationships #FamilyLife

Love, Loving Heartedly, Relationships, Family, Emotions, Feelings, Fx777

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Everybody has asked his or her companion or spouse inquiries at one moment or another. All of us clearly would like to understand elements about the ones that we adore. We need to understand their likes, dislikes, and greatest preferences in order to recognize an efficient connect with them. But, what about the deeper, darker things? Have you believed that the answers you receive from precise questions can either be the difference among separation and staying together?

The book titled 1000 Questions For Couples may help you discover aspects about your boyfriend or girlfriend that you may have otherwise never ever found without having read this guide. This powerful tool will let you detect who your spouse genuinely is underneath it all.

Did you already know that most divorces won't happen if those people knew precisely what inquiries to question their spouses? You will find distinct inquiries that you both equally need to understand in case you be expecting to put together an enduring and long-lasting romantic relationship. This e-book covers inquiries that could also assist you decide if the potential mate you're in search of is a appropriate match for yourself.

You wouldn't like to marry an ax murderer would you? How about somebody who accustomed to sell drugs on the roads? Say for instance you're going to be the sort who likes to stay home and tend to the little ones, and your likely mate likes to go out and party together with his buddies all of the time, do you think this union will survive? Likely not!

You will discover certain aspects that we do not consider before we decide to marry our husband or wife. All we bear in mind are the obvious points, like what they do for a life, how much income they make, and their preferred restaurants and community hangouts. What about what their long lasting objectives are? People generally need to know what their mate's life desires are. You can't marry another person who has plans to move to Rome.

There might be no harmonious union if your likely mate is likely to move away to go to school in some other state, either. These are aspects that you'll want to handle. But, you will find literally a great deal of questions to question your mate.

Initially, once we meet another person who strikes our fancy, we are likely to only ask questions which might be of the far more obvious nature. We may well would like to know where they went to school, what city they grew up in, how many siblings they have, exactly where they went to college, what kind of car they drive, and where they work - and that about sums it up.

As human beings, we are composed of a variety of critical details and personality quirks, perfections, and imperfections.

There needs to be questions for couples if we anticipate our relationships to be successful. This book covers every topic that you're going to ever need from family members, to children, to religion and communication - and more. Any potential question that you could think and various more are documented in a a lot much easier and beneficial way within this book.

What is better than a long-lasting enduring romantic relationship? How would you feel if the one thing you wanted in order to restore your ruined marriage was only a few inquiries to inquire your mate in order to assist you arrive to a solution for your trouble? It may possibly very well be that you as well as your mate may perhaps need superior conversation with one another, and that your romantic relationship is not over.

source: Theola Whitted

Teenage/Parent Conflict can Cause Emotional Outbursts and Do Great Family Harm - How to Avoid Them #FamilyLife


Parenting, Relationships, Children, Family, Values, Culture, FX777, FX777222999, Emotions, Parenthood

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Teenage/Parent Conflict can Cause Emotional Outbursts and Do Great Family Harm - How to Avoid Them

How often do we find ourselves saying painful things in the heat of the moment to those we care about that we then regret? Words that cut deep but later realize we don't really mean. But once uttered the damage is done. No matter how bad we feel about what we've said these words can never truly be retracted. So what to do about it? Well, relying on set strategies to curb irrational outbursts in these emotionally charged moments doesn't always work for by then we're out of control and it's too late. There are two ways I know to avoid this disastrous state of affairs. The first is don’t keep pressing the emotional hot button of the person that presses yours! And the second is keep in mind the heavy price others have paid for ill-considered words in the heat of the moment and learn from their mistakes. A telling example of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time can make us think twice about what we choose to say to avoid a similar thing happening to us.

Let’s look at the first one of not pressing those emotional hot-buttons. For years our family has enjoyed each others’ company at the tea table. But for some reason when my eldest daughter was nineteen we began fighting with each other over trivial things to the point where everyone ended up being upset and just wanted to get out of there. The friendly atmosphere we’d be used to for years was shattered, everyone ate their food with pent up bad feelings and left the table as soon as they were finished. It got to the stage where I would dread tea time and my relationship with my daughter was at rock bottom, not to mention the affect on the other members of our family. It just wasn’t fair. I couldn’t even open my mouth without her hitting back with some cutting remark. Then it dawned on me that I was part of the problem. The tone of my responses to her comments and the hurtful things I’d find myself flinging at her just added fuel to the flames. And of course she’d retaliate in kind. The whole thing was spiraling out of control.

Here’s how I turned the situation around. Now this took some effort! I decided that I would let the things that normally upset me pass me by and not make a big deal about them. I tried very hard to keep whatever I said positive and not hit back when a barb came my way. Mostly I just kept my mouth shut. And guess what? Almost overnight things began to change for the better. But it’s an ongoing thing I have to keep working on for I now realize that I am the one who controls the way I behave and think, which in turn has an influence on others. The wonderful thing is I can now sit back and learn instead of being the judgmental father. I now enjoy the friendly banter of those I love instead of upsetting them. All because I now understand that young people have their own challenges as they navigate life’s difficult journey.

This neatly brings us to our second point: Having things we learn the hard way reinforced by what we learn from others.

Heather Thompson* was just like any thirteen-year-old teenager experiencing the normal joy and pain of growing up that we've all been through. On this particular night she had exchanged especially harsh words with her mother over some trivial observation her mother had made about the untidiness of her room. This heated exchange culminated in Heather storming off to her bedroom screaming, 'I really hate you!' and slamming the door behind her.

Feeling extremely angry with her lot in life Heather then took herself to bed. But she didn't sleep peacefully. Tormented by the hurtful words she had thrown at her mother, she tossed and turned for hours and finally fell into a fitful sleep in the early hours of the morning.

Unbeknown to Heather, in the middle of the night her mother quietly passed away.

Days later a grief-stricken Heather found a letter addressed to her in the drawer of her mother's dressing-table.

It read:

Dearest Heather,

Mummy has been sick for a long time now. I've tried to keep it from you in the hope that I'd get better. Please forgive some of the things I've said and done over these past twelve months as I've never meant to hurt you.

I love you very much and will forever,
Your loving mother

Now a grown woman, this letter remains one of Heather's most cherished possessions. Painfully, she reflects: 'If only we could turn back the clock, I'd make sure the last words I shared with my mother were words of love rather than words of hate.'

In times of great emotion keep your experiences and Heather's story in mind and choose your words carefully. You alone have control over the way you think and what you say. Good family relations depend on you biting your tongue instead of lashing out. Not only could your words be the last thing this person hears you say, you're the one who has to live with them for the rest of your life.
*(Not her real name)

Source: Laurie Smale

Pheromones: What They Do? #FamilyLife

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Photo Source: "Pheromone Lotion by panther_926, on Flickr">

Pheromones have long been hypothesized to influence sexual attraction in humans. They have been subjected to years of research and scientific studies to determine the facts behind them which make them critical elements of human sexual behavior and as precursors of sexual intercourse and eventual reproduction. Although these naturally emitted chemicals are also behind the sexual behaviors of dogs, pigs, flies and butterflies, humans are far more complex.

Human beings, both of the Adam and Eve population, produce natural pheromones that send important chemical messages to potential mates. Males in the human species are more known to produce these chemicals that the female species receive and process through their olfactory system and through an accessory organ called vomeronasal organ (VNO). Some scientists refer to the VNO as Jacobson's organ that lies between the nose and the mouth.

In some cases, women can use both of these said organs to interpret subliminal messages. It is more active in other animals and although it is also present in humans, it is still subject to arguments of how active it is and whether it is vestigial or not. Another important human body part that is essential in pheromone signal interpretation is the hypothalamus. This is where the chemical signals are sent immediately after by passing higher organs of consciousness. The hypothalamus is a part of the brain.

Source: Liz Hemmingway

To Trust Or Not To Trust: That Is The Question #FamilyLife


To Trust Or Not To Trust: That Is The Question #FamilyLife

Trust is something that has become harder and harder to find. We don't trust our government, we question our doctors, we worry about the air we breathe, the water we drink and the foods we eat. We lock our doors at night because we don't trust our neighbors, the people who live down the street or anyone who may be traveling through our area. In this escalating environment of fear and distrust that we live in, our ability to trust each other has also deteriorated. Instead of trusting someone until we are wronged, we unconsciously assume the opposite, that they are guilty until proven innocent.

As we live our lives, there are many things that can create feelings of distrust toward others in our psyches. Growing up in a volatile environment of emotional pain, abuse and neglect can set the stage for distrusting others from our earliest of days. As an adult we may suffer the pain afflicted by others though their put downs, belittling or victimization, where we lose our self esteem and ultimately learn that we cannot believe in ourselves let alone others. Over time, the scars that we carry around from this deep emotional wounding cause us to shut parts of ourselves down, where we are fearful of opening ourselves up to others and only to be hurt yet again.

Trust is very important if we want to have healthy open and caring relationships with others, be they personal, professional or intimate. Trust is not something that comes automatically, but is something that is built through time and repetition. When we do trust, we are willing to be vulnerable. We are willing to let others know who we are on the deepest level of our being and recognize that they will treat us fairly, honestly and will not take advantage of us. With this, we are given the opportunity to drop our guard and show our real selves, our strengths and weaknesses, our problems and concerns as well as our silly and sometimes stupid mistakes all without fear of reproach. When we trust someone, we are also given the opportunity to help create an environment of mutual respect, caring and concern for the others wellbeing and personal growth.

It is when we break the trust within any of our relationships that problems can occur. As I said before, trust is something that develops over time and once broken, trust can be a hard thing to re-establish between two people. Some people think that trust is something that is granted to you or should automatically be present in a relationship regardless of the acts and behaviors of the participants. When we first meet someone and develop a relationship with them, this can be true, however, the reality is, once trust between two people is broken, it is something that needs to be nurtured and rebuilt.

The level at which the trust needs to be re-established in a relationship depends on how severe the precipitating offence was, that is from small, where we are not greatly bothered to severe, where our emotional wellbeing is put at risk. There is a world of difference between distrusting someone who accidentally damages or breaks something of value to you and when a important promise, such as faithfulness is broken. Once our trust is violated, we first have to recover from the emotional stress that the violation has placed upon us. At that time, we can choose to take steps to ensure that a similar offence will not occur or not.

For example, if it bothers you that your spouse flirts with a coworker, ask that he or she keep their relationship professional. If they are unwilling or unable to do so, then it is up to you to determine if you want to reconcile the relationship. Yes, it is up to you, not them to determine if you want to recreate a relationship where your trust has been broken.

When developing trust in a relationship, there are a number of things you can do to help facilitate its recreation. If you are the one who violated another's trust, first of all, be truthful. Don't lie to your friends and loved ones. Once caught in a lie, everything you say and do becomes suspect. After that, follow through on your promises, big and small. This will let your partner know that you are making an effort at keeping your word and that your word can be trusted.

If you are the one who has been violated, establish boundaries. Let your friend or partner know how you feel and what acts or actions will help to rebuild the trust between you. In addition, don't accuse of them of bad behavior or assume everything they say or do is one way or another breaking the promise they made to you. It is essential to give them the chance to show you that they can be trusted. Now if they give you a reason not to believe them, that is again another story.

If you are wondering if you should trust someone or not here is what Tony Schirtzinger has to say about trust. In his article: ?Who Can You Trust?, he evaluates trust by how often an individual breaks their word. If they never or rarely break their word, then they are trustable. If they break their word on a few things, but not everything, then trust them in the areas in which they do keep their word. If on the other hand, if they break their word 50% or more of the time, then this person is probably not trustworthy.

In many situations, the individual, that is the person we question their ability to be truthful isn't intentionally lying to or trying to deceive us. Instead they are lying to themselves in different areas of their lives and as a result, we end up being lied to as well.

For many, rebuilding trust in others can be a long and painful process. It forces us to face our fears, release negative and hurtful feelings and experiences from our past and asks us to be willing to open ourselves up to potentially being hurt again. Without an ability to trust, however, we block ourselves off from experiencing a wide range of emotions that are part of our being. Trusting also allows us to let our guard down which frees up our inner energy and resources, which we can now be used in more positive, healthy and whole way.

Before we go, let me reiterate this here. It is up to you to decide who you want to trust vs. those you will hold at arm’s length. Just because someone wants or expects you to trust them, doesn’t mean that you should, especially if their words and actions don’t warrant it. Trust is an important component in our ability to interact with others. When it is not there, we are limited by our expression and our ability to interact with them. When it is there, we are afforded a level of intimacy that creates bonds that can last forever.

Are you unsure if you should trust someone? If you are, then try listening to your heart. If you feel safe in trusting someone, then trust. If on the other hand something within you is telling you withhold this gift from another, then listen to and follow your inner knowing. This is especially true because it is your heart that can be freed when you do open yourself up by trusting another, as well as broken.

Source: Dr. Rita Louise, Ph D

To Order Your Platter Or Even Make One #FamilyLife

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catering party, Platters, Food, Decors, Order, Catering, Table Setting, Beverages, FX777, FX777222999

Photo Source: "corporate catering party by Boston catering,sushi catering,sushi boston, on Flickr">

Catering for parties or functions is not each and every person's forte. Many people are actually not capable or organizing as well as making a platter for 2, never mind for more than that. For this reason there is also a choice of purchasing the necessary platter or two. Listed here are the advantages and disadvantages of both choices.

Make your own platter

If you're able to do this, this is a great option. Making a platter doesn't really take much time. You just need to stick some Vienna sausages and blocks of cheese onto toothpicks and construct a few sandwiches that you cut into quarters. You could also roast some chicken and pt that on the platter as well. You are able to pretty much put anything at all you like on to a platter that you make yourself. You aren't restricted to what the catering companies will give you. The downside is that it does take some time and if you have to do more than one or two platters you will probably find that you are investing considerable time making the platters and you could have saved that time by ordering them instead. It will tend to be cheaper to make your own platters though because the catering services tend to put a significant mark up on the items.

Purchasing the platters

This is an excellent choice if you want a lot more than 2 or 3 platters. A catering company can make them much faster than you are able to as they have a lot more workers and much more stock. Which means that you will end up saving lots of time. Regrettably the catering services really do need to earn profits and so will put a significant mark up on their platters. This means that it will be more costly to purchase platters than to make them. you just need to choose which is more valuable, your time or your money. Be aware that the time you don't invest making platters will be spent working as well as earning serious cash. You also will need to make your selection of platters form the ones that the catering service has on offer. You won't have the ability to construct your own platters unless you are prepared to pay extra for that privilege.

As you can tell, there are definite advantages and disadvantage to buy and also to producing platters for functions. The decision may ultimately come down to a few important aspects. These factors are specifically money and time. If you possess the time to result in the platters and also the need to save just as much cash as possible, then making them yourself will be the smartest choice. If you earn much more per hour than it would cost you to have the platters purchased then it is better to order the platters as well as work the amount of time that it would have taken you to make them to compensate yourself for the cost of the actual platters. It's your choice. Just be sure that you examine all of the possible paths and choose the most affordable one for your individual scenario.

Source: Jayden Solle

Learn How Leadership Development Can Help You Become A Successful Person #FamilyLife

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Photo Source: "Leadership by glennharper, on Flickr">

Leadership Development is anything that we do in a planned and repetitive practice to build or develop leadership skills and traits. The overall purpose is to improve the quality of leadership and enhance leadership effectiveness. This includes formal training at the graduate or undergraduate level, specific programs developed by organizations, courses implemented in corporate environments or military and law enforcement training.

These programs are designed to focus on those qualities in an individual or team that are proven to reflect strong leadership. Courses like this will build and hone those skills in an effort to produce a more effective and efficient leader.

Many qualities in an individual lend themselves well toward good leadership. Some people are born with strong skills and traits that make them natural born leaders but time and testing has discovered that most leadership skills can be learned and developed in anyone who is willing to take the time and make the effort to learn and practice.

As usual, the first step in developing any learned skill is education. Once we know and fully understand what makes a competent leader, it makes the process that much easier. There is a wide variety of study courses designed to help us do this. The most important part of developing strong leadership however, is dependent upon the action we take and effort that is put toward putting this knowledge into practice. Knowing and doing are two widely different things. Developing true leadership requires sustained action until the techniques become habit.

How successful an individual can become in leadership roles is dependent upon those persons learning abilities, the teacher or source of the information and the environment that the student will learn and practice the techniques. The rate at which one can become effectively trained as a leader will also depend on many of the individuals existing skills and behavioral attributes. Some of the more prominent traits that lend themselves well to leadership learning are self-confidence (not to be confused with arrogance,) self esteem (not to be confused with conceit,) communication skills, positive attitude and self-discipline.

The most effective leadership programs will be the ones that focus on sustained efforts over a long period and a broad scope of developmental training. They will focus on applied learning through taking action and actually practicing and monitoring the growth in real world scenarios. Since leadership deals primarily with your effectiveness in working with real people and real situations, confining your learning to classroom can only produce limited results.

Good leadership training will allow the individual to put his or her skills to test in real environments where leadership is truly needed and beneficial. Situations that work best are ones that require a leader to rely on communication, taking responsibilities, developing effective plans to reach specific goals, taking action, providing motivation and achieving real world results.

Sometimes the best training is simply filling the role and applying a proactive approach to learning and applying the best practices. It is up to you to acquire the training or practice that you need to develop yourself into a great leader. Learn everything that you can and practice what you learn often.

Source: Chris Yarbrough
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