A Life So Far Away

Colonel Qaddafi Hooked On three Stooges: According to a former friend of the Libyan dictator, Muammar Qaddafi is still so infuriated over the United States’ bombing of Tripoli that he prefers to remain in his tent and watch old Three Stooges movies. “He just sits there, watching his Stooges videotapes and pouting like a spoiled child,” says Ali Adjina, who has defected to France. “He used to idolize world leaders and men of war like Napoleon and Alexander the Great. Now he looks up to nobody but Larry, Moe, and Curly!” After a friend gave Qaddafi three racing camels in an effort to cheer him up, the colonel had them killed and stuffed, then placed them outside his tent with signs around their necks bearing the names of the Stooges. “The colonel has gone off the deep end before, but I’m afraid this time he’s gone for good.” states Adjina. “The other day he started laughing to himself in that idiotic way the fat Stooge does….I tried to tell him it wasn’t right for a man of his s...

Doomed Cannibals Ate AIDS Victim: A Brunei, Borneo, cannibal tribe may be doomed after feasting on a scientist infected with AIDS. Gerard Voisard, 28 of Geneva, Switzerland, had been diagnosed as having AIDS-Related Complex before he entered the country; and his journal revealed that the disease had fully matured. “This is a tragedy beyond measure,” says Ian Brinsdon, a Brunei Health Official. “Our government has spent a fortune trying to preserve and protect the primitive people of our jungle. Now, in one swift and cruel stroke, an entire tribe has been doomed to extinction. It’s only a matter of time before they all have AIDS.” Although the government is currently trying to persuade the tribesmen to undergo testing for the disease. “The outcome of these negotiations is still in limbo,” adds Brinsdon. “The cannibals are wary of outsiders to begin with. And they have absolutely no conception of the seriousness of AIDS.” (Weekly World News – submitted by C. Kaplan, New York...